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House Animals

A busy evening for those of us enrolled in the night-school division of the nation’s wire-service academies, with four items after our yellow-zoological tastes, from that crossroads where Nature, clawed and clod alike, turns tabloid:

Swiss spider-smuggler seized on German border with 164 spiders, 45 boxes of cockroaches

Fossil sea monster’s bite makes T-Rex look feeble, could ‘crush a Hummer’

Texas ‘inmates gone wild’ jail was Animal House, authorities say

Finally, from the “Headlines” segment on the March 9 episode of The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, via the 3:05 am repeat March 17, and speaking of Animal Houses closer to the actual campus pump, we have courtesy of an Eastern Michigan University opinion editor what turns out to be, far beyond its headline and unto its final graf, possibly the longest sustained use of phallic metaphors in the history of collegiate journalism:

Republicans turned off by size of Obama’s package

One Response to “House Animals”

  1. steve2 says:

    Gotta love the male inmate who claimed that he needed help because the female jailer was taking advantage of him. Help! Help! She’s oppressing me!

    Steve