So today I finally ended up going to the flower gardens with “Kimberly”.
It turned out to be a terrible day for it….October has not been good for the flowering plants, and today was miserable, rainy, cold and windy. We both laughed about how forlorn the flowers looked: they were mostly faded colors of pink and purple against a gray sky background, and a lot of the flowers were entirely gone. Probably, in retrospect, a remarkably bad place to take someone in mid-October (everyone else, be warned). We did see a rabbit and a squirrel though. Afterwards we ended up hanging out at the coffeeshop for another hour or so and I bought her a coffee- she had to leave pretty early because she had class tomorrow morning, so I drove her back to her car. We did talk about maybe hanging out for Halloween next weekend or something.
This is probably going to be my last post about this situation for awhile, because I don’t want to put too many details up here: this is not the sort of situation that I think I should be blogging about, because I’m not Brad Pitt, and she isn’t Colbie Caillat. But my big question now is this: how should I try and get across the message that I like her, and don’t want to just be in the dreaded ‘friend zone’?
We talked some about music, she mentioned several times she’s a former a cappella singer and loves it, (so is my brother, actually, and he was really good) so I’m thinking about inviting her to an a cappella concert next weekend. Alexandrians, please advise me! :)
I’m not Brad Pitt, and she isn’t Colbie Caillat.
As if that were a bad thing!
Keep in contact with her as regularly as possible, definitely invite her to the concert, “hang out” with her for Halloween (that in itself could be interesting–interesting things go on on All Hallows), and if the second and/or third time goes well, let her know you’re interested in her as more than a friend (you don’t necessarily have to phrase it that way, but you see what I mean). I think at least two or three dates or quasi-dates would be required to make sure there’s a basic compatibility; but don’t wait much past “hanging out” number three to declare yourself. From that point, let things take whatever course they take, and be grateful for the moment.
Good luck, and I’ll keep you both in my prayers!
Re: As if that were a bad thing!
Well, I mean it in the sense that “neither of us is a celebrity, so quite rightly, we are under no expectation of having our personal lives blogged about”.
Re: Good luck, and I’ll keep you both in my prayers!
Thanks….she seems like a really cool person!
Sniff…I guess I’m just a sentimental romantic because I’ve been looking forward to this update all week.
I agree with Turmarion about the timing and the invites.
But my big question now is this: how should I try and get across the message that I like her, and don’t want to just be in the dreaded ‘friend zone’?
Assuming you guys are sharing an armrest at the concert, that would be a good time to brush your hand against hers and see if she opens her hand for you to intertwine your fingers with hers.
Cut to the chase. How far did you get?
[Aside: Shut up, Kim. ;) ]
May I use the term “shy”? It seems to be the underlying theme for you.
Any advice, particularly to a shy person (I am one, too), can be pretty much useless if it keeps you thinking (and fretting) about timing and such. My non-advice is to just be open in your expressions of enjoyment in her company, and let your instincts guide you. No guarantees, of course, but you may encounter a moment when the right turn of phrase will occur to you and saying it will break the ice and free (both of) you to take the next steps.
Not intending to provide context: I have a vivid memory of a second or third “outing” with a lady, where upon meeting her I said, “So, do you mind if I think of this as a date?” In that case she laughed and said of course. Further deponent sayeth not. ;-)