Since I can remember I have always been up to no good on internet. It started when I was very young, with my father’s first computer. I used the archaic chat rooms where you needed to know HTML code if you wanted something to come up a different colour. I would flirt and play with guys on line telling them what I was wearing and how I was touching myself. I was 15 at the time I think. I grew up with the internet and it was easy to get pulled into it. I was safe in a way because it wasn’t easy to actually see anyone. I didn’t even have an email at that time. There were no cameras or microphones, the internet was a baby.
I remember one guy that I chatted with, we masturbated to each other’s words, he suggested I get a hotmail account so I could send him a picture of myself and vice versa. I was young and naive thought “hotmail” was some dirty thing. The name sounded bad in that context. Not two years later I had a hotmail account. Not to exchange pictures with strangers but to actually communicate with my family while on my travels.
When I got my own computer at the age of 21 I also got a dialup internet line and started with the chatting again when my partner was out working (yes, the same partner I have now). I went through a period where I’d head to the chatrooms and ‘pick up’ guys and transfer them to an MSN account where we could actually see each other on cam, strip and masturbate together. I had my own cam set up, there was no audio at that time with MSN. I remember so many odd people, guys with strange fetishes, one with a shoe fetish, one with a bodily functions fetish (I won’t go into the gruesome detail) others who were just lonely. I met a few guys during that time who I became quite good friends with. They’ve been on my contact list and in my email address book forever. They are still there now.
One of them is of course my lover. We still play together on Skype, like today, I stripped for him, showed him some skin talked dirty while I watched him work his cock until he came. It was beautiful. I love watching him.
Fact is though, today kids are exposed to it constantly. I don’t think parents have any idea how easy it is. Most parents of children in this day and age didn’t really grow up with internet and have very little idea as to how much their kids get up to online. To be honest I barely know myself, but I have a slightly better understanding than most I think. Things have changed drastically since I started using the internet, now you can access it from a phone. Any child with internet access on their phone or computer also has access to seeing naked men and women.
Kids have skype and msn, gmail (not to mention others) with audio, video and chat capabilities. There are thousands of chatrooms where kids can meet other kids or adults and the talk is often sexual. There are places like Chatroulette where (the last time I went, which was last year) 90% of the video shots are men masturbating. I have seen the numbers of kids (ages 7-99) on there. I have been shocked to see grown adult men with 6 or 7 year old children on chatroulette. (If you don’t know what chatroulette is look it up here on Wiki).
If I had a kid I’d be constantly paranoid about it. I could handle a teenager, I think teenagers have excellent capabilities of adapting and figuring out good from bad for themselves, but it’s the pre-teens I’d be most worried about. I’d be a nazi with my child if he or she had a computer or even an iPhone. It’s just too easy these days to get sucked into the wrong situation.
I discovered chat rooms about 20 minutes after getting my first Mac set-up and joining AOL. My life changed drastically at that moment. I also discovered that you could download pictures of naked women in just 2 short hours. I would set 20-30 grainy pictures downloading and then go to bed. My phone charges were huge when I forgot to find a local provider, but in the morning, 8 hours later, I’d have my pictures for the day. Chat rooms were even better. It was strange and liberating and addictive and my parents, friends, neighbors had no idea.
I’m still active in blogging, reading, and on occasion, chatting with my beautiful friends. But now, my daughter is almost 16. What do I tell her? NOTHING. Well, nothing about my activities. We keep a very strict line on her computer use and she still doesn’t have a phone. It’s the same old story, I trust her, I don’t trust her friends. Not the boys at least. I was one once, I know how they think. We’ve had the talk about on-line safety, and the other day her best friend got a request for a topless shot from the boyfriend and it freaked them out. It gave us a great conversation starter and my daughter was appropriately horrified. That gives me hope.
I wonder how my sexual development might have been different if I’d had the internet. Even now, at 37, I’ve been in a chat room exactly once. I really can’t stand instant messaging with just one person let alone trying to keep up with multiple conversations and all the confusing fast typing. I’ve certainly exchanged sexy emails that had me horny for hours/weeks, but I’ve never gotten into talking to strangers. When I meet someone in person I have a really good sense for whether or not he is someone I want to be involved with, but that 6th sense completely vanishes on-line. I need to meet a person physically. I guess I’m fortunate in that there’s never been a shortage of people to become involved with personally, although I wouldn’t say that on-line interactions are less valuable.
I agree heartily that teenagers “have excellent capabilities of adapting and figuring out good from bad for themselves.” I clearly remember making decisions for myself. They may not always have been good ones, but I always knew they were my own.
P.S. Welcome back Candegina. I don’t always comment on your posts, but I always read them.