Our air conditioning is out. It died Wednesday night. Inconveniently, that means that it died a) when it’s hot, and b) when I was about to start chemotherapy again and be at home feeling crummy. Joel begged the air conditioning people for as early a repair time as possible, and, by explaining my circumstances, got the date moved from Wednesday of next week to tomorrow.
This morning, up early on what was already a hot morning, and dressed in short shorts and a sports bra to make the heat tolerable, I took a cell phone photo of myself in the bathroom mirror. In the photo, I look reassuringly healthy. The hysterectomy scar is hidden under the short-shorts. I’ve lost ten pounds since getting cancer, but since that brings me from a weight that’s easily within normal BMI range to another weight that’s still easily within normal BMI range, you can’t tell from my weight that I’m sick. And my hair looks normal, shorter and a bit grayer than before, but normal. The question is: If I upload the photo to my Cancer Pinterest board, will it be: a) something no one would blink at (people wear short-shorts and sports bras in public to the gym, so why not on the net) or b) too racy, the kind of photo that you never want to put on the net, lest it ding your professional reputation should you need to look for a job later?
Joel and I went to the chemotherapy room, where I got good news and bad news. Good news: My blood work is normal and my cancer marker is within normal range. Bad news: I have not managed, during the break between radiation and chemotherapy, to gain back any weight at all. This despite eating cake and pie and an ice cream sundae, all of which I’ll probably be unable to eat post-chemotherapy. One of my high school friends suggests banana smoothies with protein powder.
From another chemotherapy patient: “They say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. At this point I must be able to bench press a Buick.”
From this same chemotherapy patient, I heard something I can do about the upcoming hair loss. Take biotin. The hair will probably still fall out again, but it may grow up faster. The chemotherapy nurse says yes, that’s an allowed supplement. I think I shall pick some up tomorrow.
Here’s hoping for a full remission for you. I feel awful silly fussing about some of the things I fuss about when looking at what you’ve faced and continue to face.