The love-doctor is in!
Russia is really paranoid about its borders. Since the dissolution of the Soviet Union, its sphere of influence has been greatly reduced. Many of its satellites fell from the sky and most satellites still look towards Moscow with a wary eye, its culture and language still infused as part their culture, their economies still dependent upon Russian leadership. Other satellites turned their backs resolutely, and ran toward Europe and the West, as did the Baltic states and Poland. Tension hangs in the air.
In the meantime, Chechnya keeps flaring up into terrorist violence which can go all the way back to Moscow. The Ukraine is trying to look and move Westward. China is coming into its own. All along its Southern front are millions of Muslims.
In addition, any advantage against the good old U.S. of A. must be exploited, for Moscow will dominate once again. Strongarming Europe with gas wars and imprisoning its own oligarchs and girl-punk bands may be necessary. Withholding orphans to make a political point is fair game, as Russian love affairs are often stormy.
So what is Putin doing to jack-up the low birthrate and restore Russian strength?
-He’s giving people money to have babies (which has had some success), and hiring Boyz II Men to woo couples into procreative acts. Via Gizmodo:
‘The band’s February 6th performance is part of a world tour, but specifically requested by Putin to help with Valentine’s Day-related romance. So basically, expect Moscow’s population to double some time around the middle of November.’
-He’s sponsoring love revivals. From The Daily Mail (the most trusted source in news):
‘Obediently, couples move to a special section of dormitory tents arranged in a heart-shape and called the Love Oasis, where they can start procreating for the motherland.
With its relentlessly upbeat tone, bizarre ideas and tight control, it sounds like a weird indoctrination session for a phoney religious cult.
But this organisation – known as “Nashi”, meaning “Ours” – is youth movement run by Vladimir Putin’s Kremlin that has become a central part of Russian political life.’
So crazy it just might work!
-Naturally, he still offers photo-ops of himself bare-chested: embodying the virility, strength, and charisma that the Russian people will need going forward to conquer nature and vanquish all enemies.
***Bonus-1980′s tourist Putin meeting Ronald Reagan as a KGB member in Red Square.
***Double Bonus-Putin and Bush’s love affair in a GAZ M-21 Volga caught on tape. Putin sends Medvedev out to keep the flame alive with Obama on missile defense.
To put it crudely as possible: This guy knows more about love than a fate-tossed Ukranian mail-order bride. You can’t entirely blame him either, as some of its working.
Addition: I’ve already gotten some flak for the mail-order bride comment. I think it’s most important to recognize what we’re dealing with, if we’re going to deal successfully.