The bias against men in the U.S. in child custody cases shows overwhelming one-sidedness.
- 83% of the time, custody goes to the mother.
- 57% of the time woman has custody, she is awarded child support.
- 40% of the time custody goes to the father, he is awarded child support
- As a result of all of these biases against fathers, the percentage of all child support dollars paid is extremely biased. Roughly 90% of all child support dollars received are received by mothers
Perhaps nowhere is the bias against men so obvious than in matters of child custody and support, the panel found. Fathers get custody of children in uncontested cases only 10 percent of the time and 15 percent of the time in contested cases. Women get sole custody 66 percent of the time in uncontested cases and 75 percent of the time in contested cases.
This might make sense, the commissioners suggested, in a society in which the workforce was dominated by men. However, according to the latest statistics of the U.S. Department of Labor, women now make up 47 percent of the total labor force.
Here’s an interesting side note in this article:
The commission also cited studies that show more than half of all domestic violence is actually directed against men. It points out that the American Judges Association website notes solemnly: “Every 15 seconds a women is battered somewhere in the United States.” What the website doesn’t mention is that every 14 seconds women batter their partners.
A man who fails to pay child support is eight times more likely to go to jail as a woman who fails to pay child support. A revealing experience my oldest daughter had with this is especially revealing. She is divorced and remarried as is her husband. They have a his, hers and theirs family. He’s one of the few that has sole custody of his son. A few years ago, his ex went to the welfare office to get her welfare renewed. They asked her if she had any children and if she was getting any support. Yes and no. She conveniently failed to mention that she was supposed to be paying support, which she wasn’t doing. My son-in-law go hauled into court by the state over child support. Fortunately, my sister is a high ranking official in the state government and got things straightened out post haste.
They could consider themselves lucky. This guy paid child support for five years for a child that didn’t exist. (And, some people wonder why others don’t trust government.)
For example, a Stanford study of 1,000 divorced couples selected at random found that divorcing mothers were awarded sole custody four times as often as divorcing fathers in contested custody cases. A study of all divorce-custody decrees in Arlington County, Virginia over an 18 month period found that no father was given sole or even joint custody unless the mother agreed to it. According to Frank Bishop, the former director of the Virginia Division of Child Support Enforcement, almost 95% of custody cases in Virginia were won by mothers.
An Ohio study published in Family Advocate found that fathers seeking sole custody obtain it in less than 10% of cases, and a Utah study conducted over 23 years found similar results. According to the 2000 Census Bureau report, mothers comprise 85% of all custodial parents.
Even Huffington Post recognizes the bias.
And the myth that women automatically know how to be a good parent solely by virtue of having given birth doesn’t only put unfair expectations on women but minimizes the role of men in the rearing of a child. Short of not being able to breast feed, men have the same abilities to protect and guide the development of a child as women. Yet this myth propagates the notion that men are innately incompetent to nurture a child which, unfortunately, plays itself out daily in Family Court.
From a legal perspective, most courts are obligated to focus on the best interests of the child. However, the reality is that a gender bias exists due in large part to the antiquated notion that women make better parents. And even though statistics show unequivocally that children raised in single parent homes with limited or no access to both parents are at a far greater risk to commit crimes or abuse drugs, many men face an uphill battle when trying to assert themselves into their children’s lives
You’d think the great left wing, all concerned with equality, would take up this cause and fight for the right of men to be fathers and children to have equal access to their fathers. But, feminists, the great warriors for gender equality, say otherwise:
PC feminist organizations, like NOW, claim that the rebuttable presumption of joint custody would cripple the current standard, which is “the best interests of the child.” They claim the family court system blindly turns children over to abusive fathers. Instead of joint custody, such feminists wish children to remain with “primary caregivers” — overwhelmingly, the mothers.
The much publicized California NOW Family Court Report 2002 recommends, “Abolish the tendency to assume joint custody is always in the best interests of the child. This is a false presumption with no support in reality…Sole custody [should] default to the primary caregiver at separation.”
Our society takes approximately the same tact regarding child custody as it does men’s health (and men in general):
Nationwide, about 9 percent more men develop prostate cancer than women develop breast cancer. Yet the federal government spends approximately seven times more on breast cancer research ($550 million) than it does on prostate cancer research ($80 million).
In fact mortality rates from all causes – cancer, diabetes, heart disease, injuries, suicide – are significantly higher for men than women. The New Hampshire commission found men are more than five times more likely to kill themselves than women.
And our “good” Democrats want to tell us there’s a war against women.
P.S. – Don’t bother accusing me of writing this because I lost custody, etc. I won, although my children’s loving mother has avoided supporting them as much as she can and stay out of jail, even after inheriting her share of a $10 million estate. Currently, our only minor child, 16 year old daughter, stays with me 100% of the time and works as a waitress because she’d rather do that than ask her mother for a dime. She’s also an honor student, but her mother calls her a “whore” and a “slut.”
DADvocate: You’ve provided some excellent documentation and links–thanks. As I previously said, this isn’t an issue I’d given thought to; unlike me, you’ve clearly had personal experiences that have drawn it to your attention. From the information you offer, and from what little I could glean quickly on my own efforts (well, my own and Google’s), it certainly seems that there is a strong case to be made here, and it’s heartening to see it being made. I have four kids and it would have broken my heart had I ever been shut out of their lives. The old gender stereotypes benefit no one, as far as I’m concerned, and they shouldn’t be used to deprive caring fathers of their rights. I think the default presumption of joint custody makes sense.
As for the prostate cancer vs. breast cancer and the domestic abuse statistics: again, at the risk of seeming uncaring and unconcerned, I don’t know enough about the issues to weigh in. But I acknowledge that there seems some prima facie evidence that men and boys are falling behind in a variety of areas…
In any case, since “the great left wing” has missed this issue–among others, I’m sure–it’s good that you and others are raising it. I’d be the first to agree that we need both wings, left and right, to fly our national craft; sometimes one has the upper hand, sometimes the other, and sometimes they spend so much time fighting for control that they damn near crash the whole thing. But the answers aren’t all on side, and I at least have never claimed that they are.
I think you are on good grounds when it comes to education. If you are a white male Protestant or Catholic, good luck getting into an elite school. The education system has been tilted towards women. On breast cancer, it is not so clear. It is a cancer that occurs at a much younger age. It should be researched more than prostate. On custody, we need a denominator. What percentage of men wanted custody?
Steve
What percentage of men wanted custody?
A tougher question to answer than one might think. Many guys I’ve talked to wanted custody, or joint physical custody, but didn’t even try because they thought they didn’t have a chance. One can easily argue that this defeatist attitude shows the heavy anti-male bias in the system. Some states, Tennessee is one, now have laws making joint physical custody the default option unless one parent can prove the other unfit. In my experience, as the kids get older, they make the choice no matter what the law or court says. In my case, my youngest daughter stays’ with me and rarely even speaks to her mother. I make no effort to influence my daughter in either direction, but treat her the best I can and let her make her choices. My ex could make a court case out of it, but she knows it wouldn’t end well for her. I don’t take my ex to court for expenses she should be paying, for example state law requires her to pay half of health insurance which she doesn’t, because I’d rather spend my money on my kids than lawyers plus enjoy life and my kids instead of endless battles in court. We set the record for the longest custody battle in our county already which should tell you something about my persistence and why some guys give up before trying.
Re: child support–many non-custodial mothers have other children of whom they DO have custody, and have opted to stay home with them, thereby reducing their income to somewhere close to zero. Sometimes this is a ploy, sometimes it’s the best the mother can do given her level of education and job experience, which may also explain how she lost custody of a particular child to a spouse with more money and (often) another woman available to take care of the child for free (mother, sister, new wife, girlfriend). The law in its wisdom rarely expects people (male or female) with zero income and full-time child-care responsibilities to pay child support. How a chunk of inherited money would affect this situation is not clear to me–child support is usually computed on the basis of income rather than assets.
Re: men who don’t demand custody because they don’t know they have any chance of getting it–this is pretty common. Something like 90% of divorce cases involving minor children, last I heard.
HOWEVER, the stats I have seen (which are borne out by my own experience doing divorce law, including cases in which the father is demanding custody) suggest that a man who is willing to take the trouble has a pretty good chance (60%) of winning. This may reflect his greater earning power and ability to pay attorneys, as well as to set up housekeeping in a good neighborhood with good schools and other amenities. Sometimes the man in question improves his financial situation by not paying child support. But sometimes he is just a better parent, and DESERVES to have custody–I have represented several such fathers.
You’d think the great left wing, all concerned with equality, would take up this cause and fight for the right of men to be fathers and children to have equal access to their fathers
Equality only counts for them when it fits their agenda – recall how they rushed in to help all of Clinton’s ‘victims’.
White men are stupid, lazy, unmotivated, and basically worthless. This has been the driving theme on every network comedy show since the last Cosby show folded. It gives truth to that philosophy that if you tell a lie often enough, people will believe it.
As for dads having custody – I think it’s fantastic. I have two friends – brothers, each with one daughter (one 7 and one 10 at the time)whose wives EACH up and moved out unexpedly on Valentine’s Day (two years apart – could that suck any more?) Both fought, and I mean went to the mat, for custody and won. Both are hard working, blue collar guys and have had major lifestyle changes to adapt. For my money, those two girls are far better off with their dads. Cheers to YOU for fighting for your kids. I think the views of the courts are changing in the direction of father’s being good….. fathers. It CAN happen.